The recent announcement of the UPSC results has brought great joy to our society, as sixteen participants from the UT of Jammu and Kashmir have successfully qualified and made it to the final list of this prestigious exam. I wholeheartedly congratulate all the achievers who have shown dedication and perseverance in their pursuit of success.
Even as we applaud the recent successes of young people, it is critical that we address a crucial issue that has emerged in our society and is harming our children significantly.
This issue pertains to the imposition of excessive parental expectations on young children. Specifically, the belief that “myuen bache banie IAS officer” my child will become an IAS officer” has had detrimental effects on the minds of young boys and girls.
As parents, it is natural to have big dreams for our children. We envision them excelling in every aspect of life, attaining top positions, and enjoying the rewards of success.
However, we often fail to prepare them for the inevitable challenges and setbacks that come with the pursuit of success. I believe that success is the outcome of numerous failed attempts, but unfortunately, we only acknowledge success, and that too on a fast-track basis.
Whether it’s their performance in 10th grade exams or their results in NEET UG, we tend to envision our children becoming doctors and engineers after high school, only to shift our expectations towards them becoming IAS officers soon after. While dreaming can be a powerful motivator, it becomes problematic when these dreams transform into overwhelming expectations, with far-reaching consequences. The results of such high expectations can be worrisome.
The effect of parental pressure on young minds is profound. Childhood, a time meant for carefree exploration and personal growth, becomes overshadowed by the weight of unrealistic expectations.
Instead of allowing our children to discover their own talents and interests, we force them into predetermined career paths that may not align with their true selves. This leads to stress, anxiety, and a loss of innocence. Essential life skills such as problem-solving, creativity, and emotional intelligence take a backseat, as the sole focus becomes achieving predefined goals.
Moreover, these young minds, burdened by excessive pressure, often find themselves trapped in a cycle of self-doubt. Failure becomes unbearable, and personal happiness takes a backseat to the relentless pursuit of success. This creates a miserable existence, where their lives are defined by others’ expectations rather than their own passions and aspirations.
I recently witnessed a disheartening incident that shed light on the damaging effects of unrealistic parental expectations. During a family gathering, the conversation unexpectedly turned to my relatives’ seven-year-old son and their desire to mould him into an IAS officer.
I was astounded when my relative quizzed his 7-year-old child about the daily Hindu newspaper, current affairs, and other topics typically encountered in the UPSC examination!
I tried to avoid the topic for a long time, but unfortunately I was pressed to discuss it. Finally, I decided to address the issue head-on.
It became clear to me how unfair it was to expect a child at such a young age to decide their life’s path. It was a moral dilemma, a poignant display of misplaced aspirations.
I realised that my relative, unable to achieve his own dream of becoming an IAS officer, was now living vicariously through his young son. Whether knowingly or unknowingly, he was subjecting his child to a potential life of misery, burdened by unrealistic expectations and suffocating pressure.
This incident reflects a broader societal problem that demands our attention. It exposes the dangers of parents projecting their unfulfilled ambitions onto their children, perpetuating a cycle of unattainable dreams and unspoken disappointments. In doing so, we deny our children the chance to explore their passions and discover their unique talents.
This incident serves as a wake-up call, urging us to take action. We must reassess our priorities as parents and as a society. True success should not be solely measured by prestigious positions or societal accolades; it lies in the happiness and personal fulfilment that comes from pursuing one’s own dreams.
Let us break free from the chains of unrealistic expectations and create an environment that nurtures holistic development. By encouraging children to explore diverse interests and subjects, we must empower them to make informed choices aligned with their passions. This approach will result in a society that celebrates individuality and allows children to become their best selves.
If we still continue to exclusively emphasize the path of becoming an IAS officer, then it becomes a cause for concern. This disconcerting pattern diverts potential doctors, engineers, mathematicians, and other professionals from exploring alternative career options.
We must understand this reality by considering a poignant example. During the recent COVID-19 pandemic, it was scientists who played a pivotal role in creating the vaccine, not just administrators.
As a society we need engineers, doctors, administrators, paramedics, managers, sweepers, clerks, everyone to run the whole society, not particular persons.
Although I am not against anyone who aspires to become an administrator, but becoming an IAS must be an individual choice not a pre-defined expectation from a parent.
The author is currently working with a local bank on Rural Self-Employment.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author.
The facts, analysis, assumptions and perspective appearing in the article do not reflect the views of GK.